Thailand: Land of Smiles and Happy Endings

Thailand: Land of Smiles and Happy Endings

Every year millions of people from all over the world visit Thailand for a variety of reasons.  Some people come on a spiritual journey while others come for the nightlife.  Alongside the traditional and sanitized version of nightlife like parties and late night drinking is the infamous “naughty nightlife” of Thailand.

You have heard the song, ‘One Night in Bangkok’, right? Well, Bangkok gets that moniker for a reason. The image of potbellied middle age men carousing with beautiful young Thai ‘ladies’ is pervasive in this country but these gentlemen are by no means the only participants of the naughty nightlife scene. It is not uncommon to see a group of 20 somethings partying it up with young Thai women while sitting next to a man in his 70’s doing the same thing.  On the other side of the bar you may spot a group of Chinese businessmen in one booth adjacent to two Arab businessmen all surrounded by scantily clad women.  In fact, while I was last in Bangkok a terrorist cell was broken up when one of the genius’ accidentally blew his own leg off.  After their arrest the newspaper published photos of the group from the week before partying with prostitutes.  The first terrorist to be apprehended was even granted a visit from his lady friend after his arrest in exchange for his cooperation.  Only in Thailand!  If you are interested in naughty nightlife here are the top ten naughty places to go and things to do.

  1. Soi Cowboy.  Probably the most infamous in Bangkok. A street that is only a few hundred meters in length may be the largest concentration of prostitutes in the world.  Abound with neon lights and gogo bars this is a must stop on any tourist trek in Bangkok.
  2. Nana Plaza.  This three story outdoor bar area is packed with naughty nightlife.  The bars in the courtyard offer cold beer and female companionship.  The second story is lined with women dancing on stage in varying degrees of clothing.  The third floor is where all of the “shows” take place.
  3. Patpong.  A huge market by day and a naughty nightlife paradise at night this area is full of everything you can imagine and quite a few things you never would have.  The home of the original Thailand ping pong show it is a haven of bug eyed tourist.  Be careful of any offers to go upstairs and watch any shows for Patpong is famous for its scams.
  4. Pattaya.  This is an entire city dedicated to prostitution.  Located on the beach a mere one hour from Bangkok it is rumored there are 15,000 prostitutes within 2 square kilometers.  The famous walking street is a beach front street with nothing but gogo bars.
  5. Phuket.  The tsunami may have wiped away the buildings but the girls must have all found higher ground because they are still here.  Patpong beach is the epicenter for naughty nightlife and is a scene all of its own.  With industrial sized outdoor bars there are ladies to suit anyone’s taste.
  6. Massage Parlors.  Massage parlors are everywhere in Thailand and a high percentage offer that little bit of an extra service.  Everyone has heard the phrase “happy ending” and it is a reality in the LOS (Land of Smiles).
  7. Soapy massage.  This service is generated more towards the Asian male clientele visiting Thailand.  It involves a fishbowl like display where bikini clad 20 something’s display their virtues while wearing a number.  All the ogling spectators need to do is pick their lucky number.
  8. Every bar in the country.  Unless you go to a bar that makes an effort to chase them away you will find working girls in almost every bar in the country.  These ambitious young ladies are normally excellent English speakers and spend their hours flirting the night away.  Don’t be fooled you’re not that good looking they are simply trying to make a living.
  9. Local brothels.  Prostitution is pretty in your face in Thailand.  In fact, you can’t go anywhere at night without seeing it.  The naughty nightlife you see is strictly geared towards non Thais.  Statistically though 90% of all prostitution is undertaken by male Thais.  That means there is a huge underground, read not visible to westerners, market of local brothels.  Even the most hardened Asian travelers don’t enter this world.
  10. Ladyboys.  Known as Katoey’s in the LOS these shemales can be downright beautiful and are found in all of the above mentioned places.  Some men travel to Thailand in search ladyboys while others stumble upon them by mistake.



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